Source:Internet
Thank You!
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
Monday, March 23, 2015
Sunday, March 22, 2015
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
Monday, March 16, 2015
Friday, March 13, 2015
Last trip to Costco (Friday Funnies)
A RETIREE'S LAST TRIP TO COSTCO
Yesterday I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Necco, the Wonder Dog,
which weighs 191 lbs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant?
So
because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that
no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added
that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time,
but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward
with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I
told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that
it works is, to load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to
mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with
my story.)
Horrified,
she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food
poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to Pee on a Fire Hydrant and a car
hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was Laughing so hard.
Costco
won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired
people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to
say. Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends...it will be
their laugh for the day!
Source: Internet
Thank You! Alice
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
Monday, March 9, 2015
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Sunday, March 8, 2015
Thursday, March 5, 2015
Bought vs. Homemade (Thursday's Tenderness)
Bought vs Homemade
(it just doesn't get much better than this...note the expression in the picture)
Six year old Annie returns home from school
and says that today she had her first family planning lesson at school.
Her mother, very interested, asks: "Oh. How did it go?"
"I nearly died of shame!" she answers.
"Sam from down the street says the stork brings babies.
Sally next door said you can buy babies at the orphanage.
Pete in my class says you can buy babies at the hospital."
Her mother answers laughingly, "But that’s no reason to be ashamed."
"No, but I can't tell them that we were so poor
that you and daddy had to make me yourselves!
Source: Internet Email
Thank You! Alice
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
Monday, March 2, 2015
Sunday, March 1, 2015
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